Dead Or Alive 5 (PS3 – 2012)

The Dead or Alive crew is back in an all-new installment that features MMA fighting techniques blended with the same old Dead Or Alive style we’ve seen in the past. Take on the role of some of your old favorites like Lei Fang, Jann Lee or Gen Fu – or try out some of the newcomers from the Virtua Fighter series such as Brad Wong or Eliot.

Each level comes to life with interactive environments which you can use to your advantage in the right situations. Multiple unlockable outfits and some unlockable characters round out the replayablilty factor while online modes and a robust story mode should keep you entertained for a long while.

Everything I love about this game franchise was still there in this incarnation. The fighting system is still the same as the one found in Dead Or Alive 4, with the “paper, rock, scissors” style mechanics. Button mashers will have a tough time duking it out with more skilled gamers due to this, but the game doesn’t have a massive learning curve.

The graphics are amazing, as usual. Fabric flows, animals move around, sweat glistens as your characters exert themselves and hats fly off heads with strong blows.  The music and sound effects were decent enough, too.

The only thing I didn’t really like about this was that the story mode was a little bit incoherent, but it’s in the same way that a lot of Japanese animation feels. It’s chaotic, you’re not QUITE sure what exactly is going on and then WHAMMO – you finally get it. It didn’t really detract a whole lot from my experience, however.

This installment focuses less on the T&A that first drew attention to the series, although that aspect is definitely still present in the form of constantly-jiggling boobage – and make no mistake, the updated facial models and graphics have the characters looking better than ever. And for ladies who appreciate some man-skin, there are also unlockable outfits for the male characters, as well.

All in all, this is a great title and probably one of the best entries into the Dead Or Alive franchise. Learning the game’s nuances is fun and never tedious. The fights and characters are flashy and likable, and the kinetic pace will have you coming back for more. Hands down my favorite fighting game, ever.

JOE Rating:  ★★★★★

Warrior (2011)

Original Theatrical Release: September 9, 2011
Director: Gavin O’Connor

Tommy Conlon (Tom Hardy) is an ex-marine with a tragic past he’s trying to escape from who returns to his hometown of Pittsburgh. Once there, he begrudgingly seeks out his father and former coach, Paddy Conlon (Nick Nolte) to help him train for the “Superbowl” of MMA fights, with a five million dollar purse. However, Tommy’s brother Brendan (Joel Edgerton) is a public school teacher who is having a tough time making ends meet and hears about the fight as well, prompting him to take up his former habits as an MMA fighter to gun for the prize, too, setting the brothers on a collision course which will force them to confront their broken family issues head on.

I am not normally into sports movies, or even fighting movies that much (though Rocky was okay) but someone told me I should check this out. I was not disappointed.

It had sort of a slow middle section that some may appreciate more than others, and to me, this was the film’s only drawback. (It’s not much of a drawback, though)

However, the acting was amazing. Tom Hardy’s performance as the tortured ex-marine was top-notch. Nolte was excellent as the recovering-alcoholic father seeking redemption. Joel Edgerton was great as the teacher putting his heart and soul into the fights. There was definitely nothing to complain about in that department.

The action sequences, which I suspect most people will watch this film for initially, are really well-done. As a sometimes-viewer of UFC matches, I can attest that the fights aren’t always so exciting in real life, but the fights were done in such a way and the acting was done so well, that you feel like this is a real fight with real stakes, and you are just watching it on television at home.

This is a movie with a lot of heart and you can really identify with the plight of the characters, especially if you come from a broken home or know those kinds of people. The performances turned in by the actors is really the shining point of this film, for me, but the action is there for those of you who flock to the film for that aspect.

Seeing this, you can tell why they chose Hardy as Bane in The Dark Knight Rises. Also, does anyone else think that Joel Edgerton looks a lot like Conan O’Brien if he were to work out? Weird.

JOE Rating: ★★★★

Movie Trailer For Warrior

Deathstalker (1983)

Original Theatrical Release: February 1984
Director: James Sbardellati (As John Watson)

The warrior known as Deathstalker (Richard Hill) is tasked by an old witch to gather three powerful items; a sword, an amulet and a chalice, before the evil magician Munkar (Bernard Erhard) collects them first and becomes unstoppable. After getting his hands on the sword and angering Munkar, Deathstalker enters The Big Tournament where he hopes to wrestle the kidnapped princess from Munkar’s control, while Munkar has plans of his own to kill Deathstalker.

First off, this movie is from 1983. I was only two years old, then. The special effects are TERRIBLE and are pretty consistent with the visual effects limits of the time, utilizing even puppetry to supplement the fantastical needs of the film. That being said, the puppetry is part of what made this movie so laughably bad.

Bernard Erhard is pretty much the only actor who can actually act in this film, but his performance is so over the top that it’s awkward to watch next to the wooden and stoic Richard Hill and his portrayal of Deathstalker.

As far as Deathstalker movies are concerned, I actually thought Deathstalker II was the best out of the bunch. (Even though Deathstalker II rips a scene right off the reel from this movie and just re-uses it, no questions asked)

Most lovers of fantasy have to give a nod to cheesy, 80’s Fantasy films like this, filled with topless barbarian women, oiled and dumbed-down Conan the Barbarian clones and ridiculous makeup, and this is no exception. It’s worth a watch if you’re in the mood to laugh at a terribad film, or for nostalgic reasons…that’s it.

This is definitely not Lord of the Rings caliber material.

JOE Rating: ★★

Movie Trailer For Deathstalker