Red Dawn (2012)

Red Dawn (2012)

Original Theatrical Release: November 21, 2012
Director: Dan Bradley

What would happen if North Korea and Russia decided to join forces and with the aid of a new weapon that shuts down America’s power grid, invade the United States? In this movie that tries to answer this question, a group of teens mostly comprised of a local football team called The Wolverines decide to fight back with all they have against the invaders and try and take back their town. Led by the war-veteran Jed Eckert (Chris Hemsworth) and his younger brother Matt (Josh Peck) the teens must learn to adapt and work together if they are to come out of the conflict alive.

Having been a fan of the original Red Dawn movie from 1984, I was unsure if an update would be necessary or even entertaining. The original film was a Cold War scare movie, and the message has sort of faded with time, relegating the movie to B-Movie cheese status that is both harmless and fun to poke fun of with friends (plus it had Patrick Swayze in it).

This newer incarnation takes itself far too seriously, trying to evoke the same sort of scare tactics used in the 1984 version but failing at doing so by using iffy politics that probably wouldn’t exist in the real world, yet trying to sell us on the idea that it could really happen.

There were some parts that had my blood pumping, but overall it was a redneck’s wet dream rather than a good film. I’m sure if you like movies where the antagonists are screaming Asians who kill Americans calmly and then go about their business, then this will be right up your alley.

‘MURICA!!

JOE Review: ★★

Movie Trailer For Red Dawn

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Jennifer’s Body (2009)

Jennifer's Body (2009)

Original Theatrical Release: September 18, 2009
Director: Karyn Kusama

Jennifer (Megan Fox) and Needy (Amanda Seyfried) are BFF’s. Needy is kind of a bookish nerd while Jennifer is a cheerleader, very popular and all the guys want her. When the two of them go to see a band, who are actually satanic rock stars, Jennifer is abducted by them. When she finally returns to Needy, she is changed and then boys in the school start getting killed off one by one and Needy has to figure out what happened to Jennifer before her own boyfriend, Chip (Johnny Simmons), is claimed.

I will admit that my main draw to this movie, besides Diablo Cody’s script (she writes for Entertainment Weekly, a magazine I used to read all the time) was Megan Fox. Her acting chops are dubious, but I figured she might be able to nail this part due to her seeming detachment from humanity and her abundant sexuality. Amanda Seyfried was a great choice for her role, and I hadn’t seen her in anything before this movie.

I ended up being kind of let down on all fronts for this film. It was a horror movie at its core, but it wasn’t scary. At all. The one scary part of it was the Satanic band which was actually a really cool idea. A band who has to sacrifice young girls in order to stay famous? Awesome. At best, the movie could have been cheesy-good, like Evil Dead II or Army of Darkness, but the laughs weren’t consistent. Even the sexuality was underwritten so there wasn’t much in the way of tittilation to be found. I think overall, as good as I thought Cody’s teen-hip-snappy dialogue was, the movie itself wasn’t sure what it wanted to be. It ended up being sort of  a lesser version of Mean Girls meets Heathers (The link to my review for Heathers).

It’s really not the worst thing out there. The film is worth watching at least once or twice, but you might find yourself hungry for better films out there after you’re done.

JOE Review: ★★★

Movie Trailer For Jennifer’s Body