Commando (1985)

Commando (1985)

Original Theatrical Release: October 4, 1985
Director: Mark L. Lester

Retired colonel John Matrix (Arnold Schwarzenegger), lives with his daughter Jenny (Alyssa Milano) in the mountains. An exiled Latin-American dictator named Arius (Dan Hedaya) sends henchmen to find Matrix and force him to assassinate the president of his country, using Jenny as a hostage. Matrix becomes a one-man army as he fights to get his daughter back from the clutches of an evil madman.

No matter what I think of the actual film, this is one of those movies that’s just classic and re-watchable over and over again.

Despite some bad acting, sloppy politics and logic, and some cheesy one-liners and action scenes, this movie is a real guilty pleasure as far as Schwarzenegger movies are concerned.

There are better action movies from the time period, for sure. The one female character is annoying and almost all the bad guys have fake-looking mustaches and can’t hit the broad side of a barn with their bullet sprays, but it’s one of those films you can watch with your buddies and laugh at. (Also, it made me feel like a creepy perv seeing Alyssa Milano so young in this movie after seeing her in a film like Embrace of the Vampire which was made about a decade later)

JOE Rating: ★★★

Movie Trailer For Commando

 

 

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Red Dawn (2012)

Red Dawn (2012)

Original Theatrical Release: November 21, 2012
Director: Dan Bradley

What would happen if North Korea and Russia decided to join forces and with the aid of a new weapon that shuts down America’s power grid, invade the United States? In this movie that tries to answer this question, a group of teens mostly comprised of a local football team called The Wolverines decide to fight back with all they have against the invaders and try and take back their town. Led by the war-veteran Jed Eckert (Chris Hemsworth) and his younger brother Matt (Josh Peck) the teens must learn to adapt and work together if they are to come out of the conflict alive.

Having been a fan of the original Red Dawn movie from 1984, I was unsure if an update would be necessary or even entertaining. The original film was a Cold War scare movie, and the message has sort of faded with time, relegating the movie to B-Movie cheese status that is both harmless and fun to poke fun of with friends (plus it had Patrick Swayze in it).

This newer incarnation takes itself far too seriously, trying to evoke the same sort of scare tactics used in the 1984 version but failing at doing so by using iffy politics that probably wouldn’t exist in the real world, yet trying to sell us on the idea that it could really happen.

There were some parts that had my blood pumping, but overall it was a redneck’s wet dream rather than a good film. I’m sure if you like movies where the antagonists are screaming Asians who kill Americans calmly and then go about their business, then this will be right up your alley.

‘MURICA!!

JOE Review: ★★

Movie Trailer For Red Dawn