Commando (1985)

Original Theatrical Release: October 4, 1985
Director: Mark L. Lester

Retired colonel John Matrix (Arnold Schwarzenegger), lives with his daughter Jenny (Alyssa Milano) in the mountains. An exiled Latin-American dictator named Arius (Dan Hedaya) sends henchmen to find Matrix and force him to assassinate the president of his country, using Jenny as a hostage. Matrix becomes a one-man army as he fights to get his daughter back from the clutches of an evil madman.

No matter what I think of the actual film, this is one of those movies that’s just classic and re-watchable over and over again.

Despite some bad acting, sloppy politics and logic, and some cheesy one-liners and action scenes, this movie is a real guilty pleasure as far as Schwarzenegger movies are concerned.

There are better action movies from the time period, for sure. The one female character is annoying and almost all the bad guys have fake-looking mustaches and can’t hit the broad side of a barn with their bullet sprays, but it’s one of those films you can watch with your buddies and laugh at. (Also, it made me feel like a creepy perv seeing Alyssa Milano so young in this movie after seeing her in a film like Embrace of the Vampire which was made about a decade later)

JOE Rating: ★★★

Movie Trailer For Commando

 

 

Lars And The Real Girl (2007)

Original Theatrical Release: October 25, 2007
Director: Craig Gillespie

Lars Lindstrom (Ryan Gosling) has a problem, and nobody knows what it is. He’s painfully shy, full of anxiety, is super-awkward and can’t even have dinner with his family, let alone have a normal conversation with a girl. When he tells his brother Gus (Paul Schneider) and Gus’ wife Karin (Emily Mortimer) that he has met someone over the internet, they are ecstatic for him. However, Bianca is not what they expected. She is a sex doll that Lars ordered online. Lars’ family, friends and the town must now find a way to deal with Lars’ delusional beliefs that Bianca is a real girl who not only talks to him, but loves him back.

I remember hearing about this film a while ago, and since it had Ryan Gosling in it, I sort of shied away from it because he tends to be in a lot of movies I didn’t think I liked him as an actor. However, this film seemed to have such a quirky idea and personality that I figured I’d give it a shot.

First off, I think the premise was the best part about this film. A town set “somewhere” up north, which is somewhat reserved and apparently full of churchgoing people, having to deal with an otherwise healthy and kind individual who is in love with a sex doll….that’s great stuff. What it lacked was the proper focus and execution.

The movie felt like it dragged on forever. I understood what the film was trying to do fairly early on, so to have to watch it all unfold at a snail’s pace somewhat lessened the impact of the film’s idea. Also, they sort of moved “six weeks later” from the point Lars first hears about the doll until he had ordered it, and you don’t really see anything in between. It was the only jarring part of the movie, to me.

Gosling’s acting was great, honestly. The whole cast was acting up a storm, so no complaints on that front.

There had to be a little suspension of disbelief because of certain things, like an ambulance that is willing to pick up a sex doll and waste money/time and potentially interrupt someone’s REAL emergency…all because he is Lars? When he doesn’t even seem to be that well-liked at the start of the film? So, there are things like that in the movie that are somewhat hard to swallow.

It makes for a great date movie, I’m sure…or if you really like Ryan Gosling in sweaters.

JOE Rating: ★★★

Movie Trailer For Lars And The Real Girl