Northlanders: The Cross And The Hammer (2009)

Publisher: Vertigo
Creative Team: Brian Wood, Ryan Kelly

Set in Viking-era Ireland, Northlanders Book Two: The Cross And The Hammer, collects issues #11-16 of the DC/Vertigo comic book series written by Brian Wood (DMZ, Demo) and illustrated by Ryan Kelly (Lucifer, The New York Four).

It is 1014 in Viking-occupied Ireland. One lone man, only known as Magnus, refuses to bow to the will of the Viking overlords and is leaving a bloody trail of insurgency in his wake. Magnus has no ties, no weaknesses, nothing to lose…except his daughter Brigid. Magnus’ killing spree and defiance catches the attention of Lord Ragnar Ragnarsson, a forensic specialist and confidant of the King who becomes obsessed with finding Magnus and ending his uprising.

When it becomes apparent that the only way to draw Magnus out of hiding is to provoke him by senselessly murdering innocent Irish families, it sends the two foes into a circle of psychological warfare and intrigue.

I was really looking forward to this volume after having already read Northlanders: Sven The Returned, which was amazing…so maybe my hopes were a little too high.

First off, don’t get me wrong. I would rather read this volume than not read this volume. Northlanders is a great series, and Brian Wood is doing some great stuff. Even the premise of the arc in this volume is decent and had me intrigued, but it all ended up falling a little flat.

Ryan Kelly is a great artist but I was honestly, the entire time, comparing his style (without meaning to) to Davide Gianfelice’s, who did the art for the issues collected in the first volume. In some ways, Kelly’s artwork is better for this Irish story but in others it just doesn’t feel up to par. There was nothing wrong for it save for the flavor, and despite some great splash page work some of it seemed a bit cartoony.

On top of that, I was sort of brought out of the story some by the way Lord Ragnar Ragnarsson spoke/wrote in the way that you might see a character do on an episode of CSI. I kept thinking to myself “This is so modern sounding. WTF is going on here?”

Another thing to watch out for is the twist ending. It seems to be all the rage nowadays to give a twist ending on everything, but I don’t think they had to do so, here. It wasn’t super-compelling as it was and then to sort of glaze over it all with a twist ending such as the one found within the pages of this TPB, it just dulled everything down even more.

Overall, I wouldn’t miss this entry into the series, but it could have been much better. I hear that Volume III is, indeed, much better…so I’ll have to check it out. So, give this a read if you follow along but I’m not so sure this will be a favored volume in the series.

JOE Rating: ★★★

Here’s A Sample Page From Northlanders, Vol. 2: The Cross And The Hammer

Jennifer’s Body (2009)

Original Theatrical Release: September 18, 2009
Director: Karyn Kusama

Jennifer (Megan Fox) and Needy (Amanda Seyfried) are BFF’s. Needy is kind of a bookish nerd while Jennifer is a cheerleader, very popular and all the guys want her. When the two of them go to see a band, who are actually satanic rock stars, Jennifer is abducted by them. When she finally returns to Needy, she is changed and then boys in the school start getting killed off one by one and Needy has to figure out what happened to Jennifer before her own boyfriend, Chip (Johnny Simmons), is claimed.

I will admit that my main draw to this movie, besides Diablo Cody’s script (she writes for Entertainment Weekly, a magazine I used to read all the time) was Megan Fox. Her acting chops are dubious, but I figured she might be able to nail this part due to her seeming detachment from humanity and her abundant sexuality. Amanda Seyfried was a great choice for her role, and I hadn’t seen her in anything before this movie.

I ended up being kind of let down on all fronts for this film. It was a horror movie at its core, but it wasn’t scary. At all. The one scary part of it was the Satanic band which was actually a really cool idea. A band who has to sacrifice young girls in order to stay famous? Awesome. At best, the movie could have been cheesy-good, like Evil Dead II or Army of Darkness, but the laughs weren’t consistent. Even the sexuality was underwritten so there wasn’t much in the way of tittilation to be found. I think overall, as good as I thought Cody’s teen-hip-snappy dialogue was, the movie itself wasn’t sure what it wanted to be. It ended up being sort of  a lesser version of Mean Girls meets Heathers (The link to my review for Heathers).

It’s really not the worst thing out there. The film is worth watching at least once or twice, but you might find yourself hungry for better films out there after you’re done.

JOE Review: ★★★

Movie Trailer For Jennifer’s Body