Hardbodies (1984)

Original Theatrical Release Date: May 4, 1984
Director: Mark Griffiths

When three older men come to the beach to score chicks, they learn fast that just because they have the money doesn’t mean they’ll be able to charm the ladies any easier. Seeing an opportunity, young beach-bum Scotty (Grant Cramer) offers to give the three men lessons in how to “dialogue” with women. They agree and frivolous partying ensues in true 1980’s fashion.

Yes, I know what you’re thinking – and, yes…this is one of those films.

Yup, you guessed it.

There’s really nothing I can say that would justify this piece of 1980’s cinema, other than it may have been funny to someone, once. While watching, I wasn’t so much able to laugh as I was trying to figure out why it was labeled as a comedy. I guess if you can call three older dudes trying to score with a bevy of beautiful women funny, then this is it. Otherwise, it is basically the story of a ladies magnet trying to train a bunch of creepers to not be so creepy and rapey.

Most of the humor came from men being spurned in “hilarious” ways or from “ugly” jokes or from physical jokes. Aside from that, there were just a lot of boobs and man ass. (Obviously more boobs, though)

I wouldn’t really recommend this to anyone in particular. If you want the boobs, there are tons of them online and there are pornos out there with a better storyline. Aside from that, there are no real redeeming qualities about this. Revenge of the Nerds did it much better. Thanks, 1980’s.

JOE Rating: ★

Movie Trailer For Hardbodies

Wet Hot American Summer (2001)

Original Theatrical Release: July 27, 2001
Director: David Wain

It’s 1981 at Camp Firewood in Maine, and it’s the last day of camp. Beth (Janeane Garofalo) has a crush on the nerdy astrophysics professor, Henry Newman (David Hyde Pierce), who is trying to save the camp from a piece of Skylab. Meanwhile, other campers and counselors all have their own piece of drama to play out in the camp’s microcosm before the big talent show that will wrap up the summer.

When I first watched Wet Hot American Summer, I only caught the end of it, and I was really confused. For one, I had never heard of it. Second, I thought it was a real 80’s movie and I was trying to do the math in my head because I saw that Paul Rudd was in it. Obviously, I figured it out and then watched the film in its entirety but they did such a great job making it feel vintage that it felt less like a spoof on those classic 80’s flicks and more like it was one of them.

This film showcases a lot of talent; The aforementioned Paul Rudd, David Hyde Pierce, Janeane Garofalo, Joe Lo Truglio, Michael Ian Black, Amy Poehler, A.D. Miles, Christopher Meloni, Molly Shannon, Ken Marino, Bradley Cooper and others. Most of these actors work well off each other, and you can see many of them together in other films like Role Models.

David Wain did an overall good job on directing this, but the story was sort of all over the place. For what it is, it does well, however disjointed some may find it. As a Mainer, it was a delight to see all this quirky action taking place, seemingly at random, in Maine. There is a scene where the characters “go into town” and end up in Waterville, Maine…and it’s just so ridiculous that it had me cackling.

If you like silliness, partake in this film. If silly is not your thing, then you should probably stay away. Rumor has it, by the way, that Wain is working on Wet Hot American Summer 2. Can’t wait!

JOE Rating: ★★★★★

Movie Trailer For Wet Hot American Summer