The Tall Man (2012)

Original Theatrical Release Date: August 1, 2012
Director: Pascal Laugier

In the town of Cold Rock, the children are going missing and locals are blaming it on an entity from an urban legend, known as The Tall Man. A local nurse named Julia Denning (Jessica Biel) has a child of her own, which is taken in the night. As Julia searches for her child, the truth about the disappearances begins to surface and the townsfolk have a lot to say about it.

I’d never even heard of this film but my girlfriend and I picked it up at a local video store called Bull Moose here in Maine. Jessica Biel has never been on my short list of favorite actresses, but it seemed like it could be good so we bought it.

During the opening of the movie and probably through about half of it, it had me hooked. It had great atmosphere, an intriguing villain in the form of The Tall Man – and a cool-sounding, creepy town. I mean, Cold Rock – how much cooler can you get than that? However, the director and/or story aims to trick the viewer and basically lie to them in order to achieve its hidden message/twist ending. This could have been a decent horror flick but instead it turns out to be a benign sort of social commentary about bad parents.

Jessica Biel was just okay as Julia Denning, and unfortunately she was basically the only character we should’ve cared much about but she even failed to make me do that. If I were you, I’d avoid this confusing and misleading film but maybe it’s worth a single watch on a night when you have nothing else on your plate.

JOE Rating: ★★

Movie Trailer For The Tall Man

Wonder Woman, Volume 1: Blood (2012)

Wonder Woman: Blood collects issues #1-6 of the DC Comics New 52 Wonder Woman series with writing by Brian Azzarello and art by Cliff Chiang and Tony Akins.

Wonder Woman, the Amazon born of clay and a prayer, has known who she is all her life. However, when Hermes (yes, the god Hermes) attempts to help a young woman who has been impregnated by Zeus (yes, the god Zeus) – Zeus’ wife, Hera (yes, the goddess Hera) is none too happy about it and sends her followers to go pay Zeus’ new concubine a visit. Under the protection of Wonder Woman, the Amazons and even some gods and demi-gods – the mortal woman still may not survive the fury of Hera, and in the meantime – Wonder Woman learns that maybe she’s not who she’s thought she was all this time.

To me, Wonder Woman has always been one of DC Comics’ most interesting characters. As far as mythology goes, she is DC’s version of Marvel’s Thor (Yeah, I know Wonder Woman came first, obviously). With all the controversy of Gal Gadot being cast as Wonder Woman I figured it’d be a good time to re-examine the character for myself and ended up giving the first six issues of the New 52 version of Wonder Woman a try in order to do so.

First off, the writing was pretty decent. Azarello, you can tell, wants to keep a lot of the mythology in tact and he does so pretty well. At least for a comic book, anyway. One thing I didn’t really like, though, was there seemed to be an awful lot of puns. I’m not sure exactly how many there were, but I felt like that’s all I was doing at points was reading puns to myself that the characters were saying. That hindered the enjoyment in places, but overall it was pretty entertaining aside from what I felt were jarring transitions between issues and even within individual issues.

The art was okay, but I feel like it was maybe a tad too cartoony. It reminded me of Bruce Timm a bit, which is good, but in the context of an Amazonian woman who spends her time hacking the arms off centaurs, I feel like it should be more gritty and realistic. It would really bring home the reality of our world and put it in tune with the fantastical aspects of the mythological one that Diana inhabits.

Overall, I enjoyed it and I look forward to seeing where it goes in the next volume. Seeing all the different gods represented in the artist/author’s interpretations was kind of cool, too. (Although Hermes is pretty creepy looking, I’ll admit).

JOE Rating: ★★★

Dead Or Alive 5 (PS3 – 2012)

The Dead or Alive crew is back in an all-new installment that features MMA fighting techniques blended with the same old Dead Or Alive style we’ve seen in the past. Take on the role of some of your old favorites like Lei Fang, Jann Lee or Gen Fu – or try out some of the newcomers from the Virtua Fighter series such as Brad Wong or Eliot.

Each level comes to life with interactive environments which you can use to your advantage in the right situations. Multiple unlockable outfits and some unlockable characters round out the replayablilty factor while online modes and a robust story mode should keep you entertained for a long while.

Everything I love about this game franchise was still there in this incarnation. The fighting system is still the same as the one found in Dead Or Alive 4, with the “paper, rock, scissors” style mechanics. Button mashers will have a tough time duking it out with more skilled gamers due to this, but the game doesn’t have a massive learning curve.

The graphics are amazing, as usual. Fabric flows, animals move around, sweat glistens as your characters exert themselves and hats fly off heads with strong blows.  The music and sound effects were decent enough, too.

The only thing I didn’t really like about this was that the story mode was a little bit incoherent, but it’s in the same way that a lot of Japanese animation feels. It’s chaotic, you’re not QUITE sure what exactly is going on and then WHAMMO – you finally get it. It didn’t really detract a whole lot from my experience, however.

This installment focuses less on the T&A that first drew attention to the series, although that aspect is definitely still present in the form of constantly-jiggling boobage – and make no mistake, the updated facial models and graphics have the characters looking better than ever. And for ladies who appreciate some man-skin, there are also unlockable outfits for the male characters, as well.

All in all, this is a great title and probably one of the best entries into the Dead Or Alive franchise. Learning the game’s nuances is fun and never tedious. The fights and characters are flashy and likable, and the kinetic pace will have you coming back for more. Hands down my favorite fighting game, ever.

JOE Rating:  ★★★★★

The Giant Mechanical Man (2012)

Janice (Jenna FIscher) is a quirky, listless thirty-something with no real ambition in life. She can’t hold down a decent job and she can’t seem to find a guy who doesn’t conform to every cheesy stereotype of men that exists. Enter: Tim (Chris Messina), who is almost entirely the same way as she is except for the fact that he dresses up in stilts and silver paint as the Giant Mechanical Man.

This movie doesn’t really contain much in the way of any surprises, despite the cool-sounding title. The street-performing aspect of Tim’s character is part flavor and part symbolism.

I know that some hard-working folks will chafe at the film’s underlying message, which seems to poke fun at what the world deems as being “successful”, but most people will just think of this as another light-hearted, quirky rom-com….which it really is underneath it all.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some good things about it, and Topher Grace’s character is sleaze-and-cheese-o-riffic…but this doesn’t push any new boundaries.

Neither does the acting, for that matter. Pam, er…I mean, Jenna Fischer (sorry, couldn’t resist) is OKAY as Janice but I get the feeling that she’s just playing herself. Chris Messina can’t help but come across as arrogant and cocky when I think he was supposed to be likable.

I would say, give it a watch at least once but it doesn’t really have a lot of staying power. There are other films that have a similar message out there that are more poignant, like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Vanilla Sky.

JOE Rating: ★★★

Comic Book Men: Season 1 (2012)

Original Air Date: February 12, 2012
Stations Airing: AMC
Number Of Episodes In Season: 6

Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash is a comic book store located in New Jersey where many familiar faces from Kevin Smith’s films (Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, etc.) are employed. Touted as being unscripted, Comic Book Men centers around the staff’s exploits as well as trying to capture the essence of fanboy culture in the comic book world.

Overall, the first season (and by extension, the show) was interesting. but even though it’s supposed to be unscripted, I can’t imagine that it’s NOT unscripted. Each episode fit neatly into a different theme and many customers came in with items seemingly relevant to the episodes as well. Other reality shows seem to be able to hide the scripted feeling a little better.

The best part of the show is actually the podcast portion, which is usually the only part where you get to see Kevin Smith (for those of you who are fans of his) and is also the only part of the show which feels unscripted and genuine. It’s just a bunch of friends hanging out and talking about geek culture.

Getting to see all the neat back issues and rare toys and artwork is another great reason to watch Comic Book Men. The comic collector in me squeals with joy in seeing the issues that I own being haggled over on television. There is a happy nostalgia and fanboy appreciation that the show encourages and succeeds in fostering.

If you’re a fan of Kevin Smith and/or enjoy Pawn Stars type of programming, or are a fan of seeing comic books and/or toys and artwork, this is the show for you. I will give the second season a chance but I will probably only do so at this point in order to check out all the rare and weird finds.

JOE Rating: ★★★

Trailer For  Comic Book Men

 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Change Is Constant, Vol. 1 (2012)

Publisher: IDW Publishing
Creative Team: Kevin Eastman, Tom Waltz, Dan Duncan

This TMNT reboot is set about fifteen months after the Turtles and their master, Splinter, were exposed to some slime which mutated them into humanoids. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Change Is Constant, Vol. 1 collects issues 1-4 of the new IDW series, written by Kevin Eastman (co-creator of the TMNT) and Tom Waltz (Children of the Grave, Silent Hill: Sinner’s Reward) with art by Kevin Eastman (layouts) and Dan Duncan (Hulk And The Agents Of S.M.A.S.H.).

The Turtles, as you knew them, are no more. This new incarnation has the team split up after the ooze transformed them into humanoid creatures, but this time, along with a cat named Old Hob – who may turn out to be the TMNT’s greatest enemy. Raphael is split from the team and has amnesia and the others are searching for him before Old Hob finds him first to settle an old score.

I wasn’t really sure what to expect from this. I wasn’t aware that it was supposed to be a complete reboot, but with Kevin Eastman involved, how could I say “no” as a true TMNT fan?

I appreciated being able to see Eastman’s influence in the art style as well as on some of the covers and Dan Duncan did a good job trying to emulate the feeling of Eastman’s gritty art. The colors were okay, but they were sort of too muted or not muted enough to be super-effective.

The writing was decent enough, but I have to say that I wasn’t really surprised with where the story took me, even being a reboot. No big surprises, but that didn’t make it unbearable. It was just sort of predictable. (And somewhat anti-climactic.)

All the familiar faces can be found within the pages; Casey Jones, April O’Neil, Splinter, Raphael, Michaelangelo, Donatello, Leonardo.

One thing I didn’t really like, and I need to read further on to make sure I really feel this way for sure, is Old Hob. Yeah, it’s cool to see another humanoid creature running around, especially if it’s an enemy of the TMNT, but Old Hob was not especially intimidating or powerful. Also, I thought it was really weird that nobody cared about a bunch of humanoid monsters walking around.

I’m pretty sure fans of the original TMNT comics might be a bit let down, but c’mon…it’s the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I’m sure it will only get better.

JOE Rating: ★★★★

Here’s A Sample Page From Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Change Is Constant Vol. 1

Justice League: Doom (2012)

Original Theatrical Release: February 28, 2012
Director: Lauren Montgomery

The Justice League is a team of powerful superheroes dedicated to protecting Earth from all manner of supervillains and other dangers. Batman (Kevin Conroy), the most human of the Justice League, has created contingency plans to defeat each individual member of the famed superhero team. Vandal Savage (Phil Morris) has plans of world domination and decides to send Mirror Master (Alexis Denisof) to sneak into the Batcave and steal all of Batman’s files, including the weaknesses of the Justice League. This results in Batman, Superman (Tim Daly), Wonder Woman (Susan Eisenberg), Green Lantern (Nathan Fillion), Martian Manhunter (Carl Lumbly), The Flash (Michael Rosenbaum) and Cyborg (Bumper Robinson) all having to fight for their very lives as Batman’s contingency plans prove all too effective.

Taken from the Tower of Babel story line, the events in this film mostly mirror those found in DC Comics, with some differences. However, with only 77 minutes to tell this story, I think they managed to do a good job, overall. Still, some fans of the original material might feel like this doesn’t adequately translate Mark Waid’s original writing. Movies will almost always lack the depth of their source material, so it’s best to treat them as separate entities if you can.

The animation was very slick and stylized. The voice acting was consistently very good, and it was nice to see the Legion Of Doom go up against the Justice League. You could get a sense of the classic rivalries between the characters even without knowing all of the years of back story behind them.

DC seems to really have a handle on all of their animated features – I will give them that. DC characters are sort of larger than life and tend to lend themselves more to animated adventures, where Marvel characters tend to be more gritty and aside from characters like Spider-Man, are more suited to the big screen.

With that said, in this (too) short animated feature, you will find copious amounts of action, danger and adventure…and you will feel that the League really is close to being defeated, because they are…and it’s because of one of their own members. (Thanks a lot, Batman…)

JOE Rating:  ★★★★

Trailer for Justice League: Doom

Gotham City Impostors (2012 – PS3)

Release Date: February 7, 2012
Publisher: Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment
Developer: Monolith Productions

Taking on the role of either one of the Bats (a gang of do-gooders who dress up in outfits reminiscent of Batman’s own costume) or the Jokerz (a gang of psychos donning makeup and outfits to look like the Joker, Batman’s nemesis) you wield weapons in this first-person shooter set in the background of the DC Universe.

The game is fairly cheap, and you can download a free demo that you can play for an hour before deciding whether or not you want to buy it. The hour is divided up between actual game time, and not just while you’re in menus, though. Don’t worry, an hour is more than enough time to tell if you like this game.

You can customize your own character’s outfit after level 8, or you can just use one of the pre-set characters (there are different classes like Sniper or Medic, etc) and there are plenty of options to choose from that you can either unlock or buy from the Playstation Store.

The weapons aren’t very diverse but there are some cool ones, like a cannon that fires a face-biting parrot which reduces other players’ vision and other wacky weapons, or you can get up close and personal with a something as simple-yet-effective as a katana.

The levels, aside from a couple, are fairly easy to traverse…especially with the aid of the many different types of mobility options you have (like glider wings which catch air drafts from vents to propel you, or grappling hooks which carry you across the level or to rooftops).

One thing I don’t like is that there aren’t a ton of people playing it so sometimes you’ll have problems depending on the time of day, with finding people. I also noticed the spotty connections which never happen with my other games.

The weapons could have used a little more punch, too, because sometimes even if you lay a great ambush (bear traps) and you are ready for your opponent, and you fire shot after shot into their faces, they still kill you.

Give it a shot, especially if you like Batman and/or games like Black Ops.

JOE Rating: ★★★★

Game Trailer For Gotham City Impostors

Ultimate Spider-Man: Season 1 (2012)

Original Air Date: April 1, 2012
Stations Airing: Disney X D, Disney Channel
Number Of Episodes In Season: 26

Peter Parker (Drake Bell), was bitten by a radioactive spider which granted him spider-like powers such as the ability to crawl on walls and increased strength and agility, as well as an internal warning system he calls “Spider-Sense” which usually lets him dodge incoming attacks.

At the beginning of Season 1, Peter has been Spider-Man for one year. He’s still learning, and when S.H.I.E.L.D. director Nick Fury (Chi McBride) offers to give him training that will make him into the “ultimate” Spider-Man, Spidey can’t refuse. The catch is that he has to lead a fledgling group of other superheroes including Iron Fist (Greg Cipes), Power Man (Ogie Banks), Nova (Logan Miller) and White Tiger (Caitlyn Taylor Love) and show them what ropes he DOES know, and he reluctantly agrees.

The show is a good mix of silly with the serious. Spider-Man has always been about the humor, and Deadpool has sort of taken that away from him in recent years…but Spidey, in this series, acts a bit more like Deadpool than is normal, with constant breaking of the fourth wall. To me, this is a good thing at least in context of the show because the show itself is kinetic and hyper-stylized, and is definitely aimed at a younger audience.

Older fans, don’t worry. I am a long-time Spidey fan and I actually really like this series. The team-up is a strange but cool concept, and there are constant throwbacks to story threads found in the Ultimate Marvel Verse. Spider-Man also teams up with other heroes in different episodes, like Thor, Dr. Strange, Iron-Man and others.

All the staple Spidey characters are there, including Aunt May, Flash Thompson, Harry Osborne and Mary Jane Watson.

The action sequences are really well-done, and the humor is usually spot-on. One thing I didn’t really like is how sometimes-annoying Spidey’s voice is. Otherwise, all the voice acting is good.

If you want more serious Spider-Man viewing pleasure, there are definitely other choices, but at least watch this one through the first season because you’ll get a feel for how the rest of the story’s going to go.

JOE Rating: ★★★★

Trailer For Season One Of Ultimate Spider-Man

Assassin’s Creed III (2012 – PS3)

Release Date: October 30, 2012
Developer: Ubisoft Montreal
Publisher: Ubisoft

In Assassin’s Creed III, players assume the role of Connor Kenway, a Native American brought up in hard times and trained to be an assassin during the 1700’s. Throughout the game, you will experience historical battles such as the Battle of Breed’s (Bunker) Hill and the Battle of North Bridge where the shot heard ’round the world occurred in Concord, Mass. You will also experience other historical events such as the Boston Massacre, the Boston Tea Party and Paul Revere’s Midnight Ride.

You will be able to enjoy roaming historically and visually accurate (for the most part) portrayals of Boston, New York, Concord and Lexington. (Though, I couldn’t find The Old Manse while I was near the Old North Bridge, in the game).

Despite a lot of historical things, the game also, of course, is historical fiction and they take liberties (ha, no pun intended) with some of the events in order to facilitate their own sci-fi-themed storyline…which also takes place simultaneously in a near-future where you are a modern day assassin looking back via the Animus. (A device which makes this sort of “time travel” possible)

The game is immensely fun and I really enjoy traipsing over the rooftops of Boston, seeing as I know the area fairly well. The time period is also not done very much in games nowadays, and so it’s nice to see a playable, non-boring representation of combat from that era. (Can we maybe do one during Civil War times, PLEASE?!)

The multiplayer modes are super-fun as well, but a lot of the novelty is lost on many folks who just want to run around and avoid the challenge of trying to blend in with the crowd. This doesn’t happen in every game, but it happened in enough of the matches that it sort of made me move onto other multiplayer gaming options, though I still re-play the hell out of the story.

The best part of the game, in my opinion, are the naval battles you can take part in with your ship (once you complete the missions to get it). It’s really well-done and very fun.

There haven’t been a ton of glitches, (at least, I hear, compared to the Wii U version) but I did run into a cart that was half in the ground (vertically) so the driver was facing the sky, but with no horses.

If you liked the previous Assassin’s Creed games, you’ll like this too…and you’ll especially like it if you’re a history buff, or have been to Boston. It’s really fun to be able to walk around the Freedom Trail in-game.

Check it out!

JOE Rating: ★★★★

Game Trailer For Assassin’s Creed III