Joe Kidd (1972)

An ex-bounty hunter named Joe Kidd (Clint Eastwood) is asked by a wealthy landowner, Frank Harlan (Robert Duvall) to join his posse in order to help them capture a troublesome Mexican revolutionary named Luis Chama (John Saxon). Chama has organized a posse of his own and is trying to give the land back to his people by attacking settlements and driving the settlers out of the new Mexican town of Sinola. First, Kidd attempts to remain neutral, but when he falls for Stella Garcia (Helen Sanchez) he must decide where his loyalties lie.

With the original story written by Elmore Leonard (Jackie Brown, 3:10 to Yuma) and directed by John Sturges (The Great Escape, The Magnificent Seven) and starring Robert Duvall as well as Clint Eastwood, you’d think that this film would have hit it out of the park. However, being that it’s just a watered-down attempt at Sergio Leone’s “Man WIth No Name” trilogy, it really wasn’t up to par.

However, you do get a solid performance from ol’ Clint, and that’s really the draw for anyone seeing these types of films. Also, it was interesting to see Duvall portray such a cad. He was pretty believable. (And what was up with his teeth?!)

Overall, I think the film was just the right length to not make it a bad watch. The story can be sort of nonsensical at times, but the style makes up for it. Also, if you’re the type to look for strong women characters, you won’t really find any here. Sanchez has screen presence, but her defiance is her strongest point.

It’s not the best western movie out there, but it’s decent.

JOE Rating: ★★★

Bordello of Blood (1996)

The second in a series of Tales From The Crypt movies finds Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) investigating a funeral parlor that just so happens to be a front for a whorehouse….run by vampires. Lilith (Angie Everheart), the Queen of all vampires, plans on shedding her shackles and turning on the world (and also taking it over). That is, of course, if Rafe doesn’t get in the way of her plans.

If I have to say something about Dennis Miller, all I’ll say is that he’s a fine comedian but he’s never really been cut out for the acting gig. This is the only real instance in which I can say that I liked his presence within the context of a film.

This movie bombed at the box office but it’s always been a sort of guilty pleasure for me. Angie Everheart is gorgeous, despite her terrible acting…and so is Erika Eleniak. Corey Feldman shows up, too, and actually isn’t bad in his role although it’s kind of a similar role to the one he had in The Lost Boys.

The film itself is just silly and campy….sort of as if Quentin Tarantino directed an SNL skit. The puns are abundant and so are the boobs and the blood. This movie is definitely good to laugh-bond over, for sure.

JOE Rating: ★★★

Road House (1989)

Dalton (Patrick Swayze) is a legendary “Cooler” who directs and backs up bouncers in rough-and-tumble bars. When a man known as Tilghman (Kevin Tighe) offers to pay him whatever he wants to charge in order to clean up his own bar, the Double Deuce, Dalton accepts and when he moves there and begins cleaning up house, he finds that some folks are resistant to his changes – chief among them Brad Wesley (Ben Gazzarra), who is a lot more dangerous than he looks.

I put off watching the film for years, due to a love-hate relationship I had with Patrick Swayze. I finally found it on Netflix and decided to watch it.

I have to say right off the bat that I did enjoy the film, despite anything that was wrong with it. If anyone could pull off playing a philosopher/bouncer….it was Swayze. Of course, in Road House, he doesn’t really get to pull out all the stops with his lines or dialogue…but he does kick some serious ass, even while wearing mom jeans.

Sam Elliott also has a role in this film as Wade Garrett, although his screen time is far too short. It was great to see HIM kick some ass, too. Most of the fights are your run-of-the mill 80’s bar fights but there were also generous amounts of topless scenes and even a few explosions (I know, right?).

If anything, Road House is worth watching in honor of the now-deceased Patrick Swayze. Though his acting chops weren’t quite up to par like they were in Donnie Darko, you can definitely see why Swayze was all the rage back in the day.

Whether you appreciate Swayze or just need a good, cheesy flick to watch on a Friday night – this one’s for you.

JOE Rating: ★★★★

Django Unchained (2012)

Original Theatrical Release: December 25, 2012
Director: Quentin Tarantino

Django (Jamie Foxx) is a slave. When a German man named Dr. King Shultz (Christopher Waltz) shows up and sets him free, he does it on one condition: Django must become his deputy in the bounty-hunting biz. Django just wants to find his wife, the lovely Broomhilda Von Schaft (Kerry Washington) but she is being held as a house slave on a plantation owned by the ruthless cotton king, Calvin Candie (Leonardo DiCaprio). Django must match wits and guns with Candie in order to come out alive, much less rescue his wife.

I’d been waiting for this movie for a long time. I kept seeing trailer after trailer and then it was finally in theaters. Right now, It’s my current favorite movie that Quentin Tarantino has ever done. (Replacing Death Proof)

There was a lot of controversy over this film. Spike Lee and Kat Williams and others said it was racist, but the problem is that 1.) They never watched the film and 2.) It was NOT racist, aside from the fact that the 1800’s were racist. Tarantino is not a history scholar, he is a filmmaker, and what he did was create a very badass historical revenge fantasy.

Django is far from being helpless and stereotypical. All the white characters in the film are evil and/or stupid and/or dirty, and they all eventually get what’s coming to them. The only white character who helps Django is Schultz, but he is European and not American. (A very good choice for the purposes of this film…brilliant). The use of the “N-Word” IS gratuitous, but is probably used less than in real life in the 1800’s. I don’t think Tarantino uses it casually, or for humor, but needed to give a sense of how low people thought you were if you were African American.

The performances were all top-notch. Jamie Foxx, Leonardo DiCaprio, Samuel L. Jackson, Christopher Waltz and Kerry Washington went all out. I particularly enjoyed Christopher Waltz and Leonardo DiCaprio’s performances, and I sometimes don’t even like Leo. I think he’s getting better with age. The music is great also (I want the soundtrack) and the story is very intriguing.

The violence is so exaggerated that during one of the gunfight scenes, I was clapping loudly and laughing as buckets worth of blood was splashed against the walls and floors, small pistols firing with the force of mini cannons and just destroying man and construct in great shows of gunplay.

It was great. Go see it.

JOE Rating: ★★★★★

Movie Trailer For Django Unchained